Fatherhood

My accountability partners and I are reading through the Bible this year; we are currently in Proverbs. I was reminded this morning of the following words from Solomon's personal plea to his sons...

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."

As I read these words this morning, I pictured myself sitting down with my children providing them the wisdom and guidance they will need to live as children of God. I'll be honest, there are times when I feel I don't know what to say or I am overwhelmed in trying to explain the world to my children. There are times when I just want to keep them in the house and away from the pain and heartache they will inevitably experience as wanderers in this world.

I watch as my 5-year old son becomes more observant of the world around him. I sit in amazement as I realize he is already discovering that women are beautiful and wonder who taught him to say, "Hubba, hubba!" when he sees an attractive woman on the television. I listen as he begins to try on new words he learned from the kids at school or the kids in the neighborhood... sometimes saying them softly and hesitantly because deep inside he knows he shouldn't.

I wonder at times how simple the world must be to my 2-year old daughter...sleep, eat, play...repeat. I sit in amazement as I watch her nurture a baby doll (preparation for motherhood starts young, doesn't it?). I understand her need to ask, "Why?" all the time and am amazed when my answers placate her need for knowledge.

How simple it would be to remain distant and aloof from my children. How simple it would be to ignore the words they choose and to turn a blind eye to what they see on the television and in the world around them. How simple it would be to avoid answering their questions and simply reply, "Because..."

But I choose not to ignore. I choose to guard their hearts and satisfy their thirst for understanding. I choose to love and nurture and discipline and guide them on this path. And this choice requires sacrifice.

There are times when I don't get to watch what I want or do what I want. There are times when I must overcome weariness and laziness to be this type of father, but this is the very thing God has called me to do. This is the mantle that I can not, and should not, put down. This is the mantle that can not be carried by any other person. I am their father, and I will be until the day I die.

I know there will be times when I fail (there have been so many already), but I must pick myself up and learn from the failure. And with humility, determination, prayer, and perseverance...press on.