New Site

I've switched over to WordPress for my blog. It may take a day or two for my domain provider to get their system updated with the forwarding process, so you can access it here for now.

In the future, just use www.coffeehousechristianity.com. Thanks!

Weekend in Review :: 02-24-08

We closed out our Sexual Revolution series yesterday with some great worship & teaching. At least...that's what I was told in staff meeting this morning. I wasn't actually here to witness it!

On Saturday night it quickly became apparent that I needed to minister more to my family this weekend than to the church. Ethan was struggling emotionally, and the only cure was for Daddy to be around. After I finally got him calmed down and asleep in his bed, I realized what needed to be done.

Early on Sunday morning, I called in an impromptu vacation day and spent the entire day with my wife and kids. We played games together, did some projects around the house, and went to Karen's parents for dinner. It was a great day together, and it helped Ethan tremendously.

I want to publicly thank Bill and the staff and the Leadership Team and the people of Great Oaks for being a church where the pastor's family is allowed to be his primary ministry-focus. Thanks for your understanding and flexibility when an audible needed to be called!

Climbing the Walls

I can't wait to get this girl in some climbing gear and on a wall of rock somewhere...

And It Was Good

Here's a sampling of my little creator's work. Every night before Ethan falls asleep, he draws a picture on his Magna Doodle. Last night, he created this...


This is a robot that moves around the house and cleans up your garbage and your dirty laundry. It throws the garbage away and washes, dries, and folds your laundry for you. Later this same day, here is his creation...


It is now sitting proudly in his room collecting his favorite books and toys!

Sick Day

I got a call from the school nurse today. Ethan was in her office with a low-grade fever. Normally, it would take a natural disaster to get Ethan away from his friends at school, so I knew he wasn't feeling well when he said he didn't want to go back to class. Here's a pic of Ethan taking it easy this evening...

And Morgan wanted her picture taken as well...

An Ode to Spring

Sun shining
Birds chirping
Flowers blooming
Leaves sprouting

Walks around the block
Kids playing outside
Baseball in the yard
Basketball in the driveway

Backpack packed
Feet on the trail
Tent by the lake
Kayak on the water

Where, oh where, are you Spring?

Why I Blog

[This was originally posted in September, 2007. I've had several people ask me recently why I blog. Here you go!]

So here I am...sitting in my overstuffed chair with my feet up on the ottoman. Karen and the kids are all taking a nap, so the house is finally quiet for a few moments. I'm taking the opportunity to catch up on my blogs that I track. I love learning from other leaders and catching up on stories from friends. It got me thinking about why we blog. Here's what I came up with...

1. Connection - Inherent in all of mankind is the need to be connected with other individuals. Blogs and other social networking sites allow us to maintain some level of connection with people all over the world. No matter where our friends are or where other leaders live, we can feel like we are a part of their lives. Yes...I would love to sit down face-to-face with the authors of the blogs I track, but it probably won't happen any time soon. Until that day does occur, I will continue to connect from a distance.
   
   
2. Transparency - As a pastor, one of the core values I feel I need to bring to those I lead is transparency. They need to know who I am...especially since most people in the church probably won't have a chance to sit down for a cup of coffee with me. They need to know my likes and my dislikes, my joys and my struggles, my coherent thoughts and my random thoughts. They need to know that I am a real person who deals with the same issues they deal with whether they be parenting, marriage, finances, or spiritual struggles.
   
   
3. Discipleship - As the church grows larger, there is a greater need to disciple people. Blogging can provide pastors with an expansive network of discipleship partners. As we teach and lead through the blogosphere, people throughout the church and around the world can enter into conversation and debate. We can provide these "on-line disciples" with resources and additional insight into Scriptural interpretation and application. For teaching pastors, especially, we can take what we talked about on Sunday morning and explore it a little bit deeper on Monday morning. This way, the conversation can keep happening throughout the week as people ruminate upon the truths we presented during the weekend services.
   
   
4. Stewardship - Blogging is wise stewardship of time and energy. Imagine the time it would take to sit down with every person in the church over a cup of coffee so that they could get to know me on a more personal level. Imagine the time it would take to personally disciple every member of the church. Even if I did all of this in small groups of people, it would occupy entirely too much time. It would take me away from my other responsibilities in the church, and, more importantly, it would take me away from my family far too often. Yes...blogging takes time, but it is a much wiser use of my time than trying to be all things to all people.

So those are the reasons why I blog. How about you?

Making Disciples

I'm previewing Leading Life-Changing Small Groups by Bill Donahue as a potential leadership guide for our small group leaders. The following paragraph jumped out to me...

"It is easy to have group meetings - it is harder to make disciples. Small group leaders serve in a spirit of commitment, not convenience. It takes courage, resolve, and perseverance when you are disappointed or weary. Leaders remain committed to the cause, to Christ, to the church, and to the people in their group. Are you willing to do what it takes to effectively lead and care for your people?"

Great challenge to all of us who serve as small group leaders!

Tears at Culvers

I had to go buy some new basketball shoes last night, so we decided to go out shopping as a family and then surprise the kids with dinner at Culvers - one of their favorite places to eat. After buying the shoes, Ethan was trying to guess what the surprise was. He guessed various foods that Mom might be making for dinner and even mentioned eating out at one point.

He even asked if the surprise was that HE was going to make dinner. All of a sudden, he got really excited about making dinner for us. (Remember...he's six!) So we told him, "If you are still hungry when we get home, you can make dinner."

When we got to Culvers, he was all confused. "What are we doing here? I thought I was going to make dinner?" He actually got so upset that he broke down in tears in the lobby of the restaurant. He was evidently really looking forward to making dinner for us.

I picked him up, held him close and told him that he could make dinner for us tomorrow night. He calmed down and over the course of the rest of the evening, he began planning out what he was going to make. We eventually settled on him making lunch for us today, so when he gets home from Kindergarten, he is going to make us all specialty sandwiches, side dishes (potato chips & carrot sticks), and drinks.

I love my little boy!

Living Room Events

At Great Oaks, we've adopted the Foyer-Living Room-Kitchen strategy from Northpoint as a way of moving people from our weekend services to our small groups. As we've been talking lately, we realize that the Living Room component of our Vision is unfulfilled at this point.

Essentially, our Living Room events are "connection events" where people can begin to meet new people and form relationships. During each of these events, we will be encouraging people to get plugged into small groups as their next-step.

Our plan is to increase the frequency and variety of these events in the coming months and years. These events will each have a specific target audience (men, women, families, etc) and will be varied in style (workshops/seminars, family movie nights, coffeehouse events, sporting events, etc). Here's my question for you...

What kind of Living Room events would you love to see the church offer?

Remember that it has to be relationally-driven, have a specific target audience, and be something that has the potential to draw in a lot of people. (Sorry...but we won't be offering a Living Room event for men who love to re-enact the Civil War.)

Share your thoughts by clicking on "Comments" below...

Sex, Journaling & Questions

We are wrapping up our Sexual Revolution series this coming Sunday. Bill is going to be closing it out by talking about our next steps if we are the ones entrenched in sexual immorality or if we are the ones who have been the recipient of the sexual immorality (i.e. if we are the towel that has been blemished by the sins of others).

In two weeks we are starting our 21 Days with God teaching series with an emphasis on prayer, Bible study and journaling. We are giving out journals to every adult, teenager, and child in the church and asking them to read one chapter of John's Gospel each day for 21 days and to write down their observations, application, and prayers. The pastors are all going to be blogging their thoughts so you can get an inside look at their perspective as well. What's cool about this is that it ends the day before Easter, so the entire church will have just read all about Jesus' life & ministry leading into this awesome day of celebration!

On Easter we are launching a 6-week series called Questions. The first three weeks of the series, we are going to be answering some of the big questions people have about God..

• How good is good enough to get into heaven?
• Why is Jesus the only way?
• If God is so good, why does he allow evil & suffering?

...but the last three weeks of the series, we are going to be answering YOUR questions. Through the church website and on Sunday mornings, you'll be able to submit the big questions you've always wanted answered. We'll choose three of the more intriguing ones and do our best to answer them. Should be fun!

Mourn with those who Mourn

The Apostle Paul admonishes us in Romans 12:15 to "rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." This week I am mourning with my close friend, Mike Jackson. Mike is one of my rafting partners and, even more importantly, is a great friend, a mentor, an amazing example in faith & fatherhood, and a true joy to be around.

Earlier this week Mike's father had a massive heart attack and went into a coma from which he would never return. The family made the tough decision to pull life-support last night. His father passed away in less than seven minutes.

Please pray for Mike & Nancy and their children - Nici, Sarah & Jonathan. They have been close friends of mine for over 11 years, and I know they would appreciate your prayers.

Pastorus Communitatus

Pastorus Communitatus - "Community of Pastors"

No...I don't know Latin, so I have no idea if that is accurate or not, but it works for me! At Great Oaks we have an amazing sense of community among the pastors. We are here to encourage each other, to challenge each other, to hold each other accountable, to learn from each other, to pray for each other, and to do life together.

Earlier today, one of the five pastors called a leadership huddle to talk through some things he's dealing with in his area of ministry. We spent almost an hour listening, talking, and praying with each other. In the end, we all walked away with a better understanding of his heart, his ministry, and a stronger pastorus communitatus.

Have I mentioned lately that I love this place?!?

Weekend in Review :: 02-17-08

There is definitely something unique about Great Oaks! I've never been in a church where we spent an entire morning talking about the negative influence of pornography. I've never been in a church where the pastor was allowed (and encouraged) to be this transparent about who he was in the past and who he is today. I love this place...

WORSHIP
Let the Praises Ring - Lincoln Brewster
Everlasting God - Todd Fields
Offering - Unknown
Dirty Little Secrets - All American Rejects
I Am Free - Jon Egan

MESSAGE
Series: Sexual Revolution
Message: Leashed
Speaker: Chris Genders

Notable Quotes..

• "We are going to get real this morning. It is going to be uncomfortable for me as the speaker, and it's going to be uncomfortable for you as the audience."
• "When we chase sex outside of God's will, we find ourselves leashed to a life of sin."
• "Pornography is pervasive in our culture today. It affects individuals, marriages, families, and churches."
• "I came clean to Karen about ten years ago after three years of marriage. I had been living a second-life ever since I was a teenager. I looked good on the outside, but the inside was a mess."
• "God calls us to present his daughter back to him without stain, wrinkle or blemish." [Towel illustration]
  
• "Porn is oppressive. It takes away your energy, your passion, your time. You become moody, irritable, and defensive. You are always on edge because you are afraid you will be 'found out.' This is no way to live!"
• "Porn isolates you from other people. You try to fix yourself but it is impossible. You need to have someone in your life regularly asking you the tough questions."
• "You've got to recognize where you struggle and establish safeguards to prevent you from crossing the line when you are tempted."
• "It is not a sin to be tempted. It's how you respond to temptation that matters."
• "I know there are going to be some very uncomfortable conversations between spouses and between parents and their teenagers. And I don't care! These conversations need to take place."
• "Remember that we are people of grace, forgiveness, and second-chances. Be patient when your loved one comes clean. They will need your unconditional love and acceptance as they walk along the road of recovery."

NIU...

It is still hard to believe what happened at NIU on Thursday. I have not followed all of the media focus personally, but I have heard from others. I guess I just needed time to spend with my family these last couple of days. Here are some random thoughts following the tragedy...

• There is an amazing sense of isolation when cell phones don't work and you cannot reach people you are trying to track down. It wasn't a good feeling. I hope I never experience it again.
  
• When I got home after being at the Christian Campus House for a while, I almost cried when I hugged Ethan & Morgan. I cannot imagine how I would feel if I lost them to a senseless act of violence.
• Obviously the entire community was talking about it the next day. At dinner on Friday night, our waiter heard us talking about it and shared with us that he was waiting outside of Cole Hall for his girlfriend who was in the class when it happened. She made it out safely thankfully. Five others were not so lucky.
• The official fatality count is six - including the gunmen - not seven as I posted earlier.
  
• People will inevitably talk about Virginia Tech and other school shootings. They will ask why more wasn't done. They will talk incessantly about campus security. Let's be honest...apart from posting armed guards at the entrance of every building and mandatory pat-downs as students come in, what are you going to do? The police responded in under 2 minutes after the first shot rang out- that's 120 seconds, folks. They had practiced for just such an emergency. Stop the talking...
• A great friend of mine - Jim Clark - has some powerful thoughts on his blog. He was out at our house for dinner on Thursday night after the tragedy, so we had some time to debrief together.
• I got calls, emails, and blog posts from all around the world (literally) asking how Russ & Brian - the two campus pastors I am connected with - are doing. Thanks for all of your prayers and concerns, friends. It is good to know there are people out there. I will make sure Russ & Brian know of your love.

Now, go hug your loved ones in case you never get another chance...

Morgan's Thoughts

Morgan was invited to a My Little Pony birthday party today for a little girl who happens to have two older brothers. At one point during the party, Karen asked Morgan if she would like to have two big brothers.

After a long pause, Morgan replied, "One be 'nuff!"

Tragedy at NIU

There have now been seven confirmed fatalities (including the shooter) from the shooting at Northern Illinois University. Please continue to pray for the students and their families. Thanks...

Shooting at NIU

In case you haven't heard, there was a campus shooting at Northern Illinois University earlier today. We live just a couple of miles from the campus, and we have some close friends who are campus pastors for the school. Here's a press release from the school's website...

"At approximately 3 p.m. Thursday, February 14, 2008, a gunman, carrying one shotgun and two handguns, opened fire in Cole Hall on the campus of Northern Illinois University in DeKalb. NIU Police officers were on the scene in less than two minutes and the gunman was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound a short time later. Police have not released the identity of the gunman. At this time, there is no known motive. Eighteen students were transported to Kishwaukee Community Hospital in DeKalb."

I was doing some reading at a local coffee shop when Karen called to tell me the news. I immediately went over to the Christian Campus House to connect with the students and campus pastors we know. We were able to track down all of the students associated with the ministry as well as many of their friends.

Please keep the school and students in your prayers.

Can't Wait for Sunday

I just put the finishing touches on my message for Sunday, and I cannot wait to deliver it!

I honestly believe that God is going to use this message to change a lot of people's lives (of course, I think that about every message otherwise I wouldn't do what I do).

But on this particular Sunday, people are going to be uncomfortable and encouraged and set free from the stronghold of pornography and other sexual temptations. They are going to hear personal stories and learn about resources to help them break free. They are going to hear that THEY ARE NOT ALONE in their struggle!

I am so thankful for a church like Great Oaks where we can tackle the tough subjects and be completely transparent with each other. I love a church where the pastors can be real from the stage.

Sunday's comin'... bring it on!

Valentine's Day

Let me begin by telling you the shocking truth... my wife & I don't celebrate Valentine's Day! When we were dating, Karen told me that she didn't see the point in celebrating it (something about a "made-up Hallmark holiday" if I remember correctly). Her birthday is just a couple of weeks after V-Day, so we have always rolled all of the February celebrations into one night out right around her birthday.

So whether you celebrate V-Day or not, here are some thoughts for all of us...

1. Couples - Celebrate your love for each other every day not just one day a year. Nothing irritates me more than when couples try to make up for a year of lackluster expressions of love by going gang-busters in one day. I guarantee you that your spouse would rather hear that you love him/her every day rather than just one day a year.
   
   
2. Husbands - Speak your wife's love language today not yours. Guys...let's be honest. We often go all out on V-Day because we think we will get something in return (and you know what I'm talking about). Make it all about her. Speak her love language not yours. For some of you, this may mean a gift and a night out at a great restaurant. For others, this may mean a day of doing neglected projects around the house. For others, it may be a night spent at home with the family. And for a lucky few, you and your wife speak the same love language and sparks are gonna fly! Don't be selfish on V-Day (or any day). Let your wife know how much you love her by saying it in words and ways that resonate with her...not with you!
   
   
3. Wives - Respect your husbands. Ladies...the greatest thing that your husband needs is not your love. The greatest thing he needs is your respect. One of the biggest reasons men spend so much time at work and hanging with their buddies is because they get more respect in those settings than they do at home. If you let your husband know you respect him, you will be amazed at the amount of love he will show you. Even if you think he isn't worth respecting, show him respect and see if he doesn't end up becoming somebody you do respect and someone who shows you a lot of love. It's called the "love/respect cycle" of marriage. Read Ephesians 5:33...
   

Have a great Valentine's Day no matter what you're doing. Karen & I will be spending a quiet evening home with the kids having a heart-shaped pizza from Papa Murphys!